How Much Competition Is Too Much Competition?

This year Liam is playing on a coed recreation soccer team. It's been such a good experience. Last year he was on a competition league team and it was...not so fun. The coach was yelling at him to do things that Liam had no idea about. The coach was yelling/swearing at the refs. He was rarely played, partly because he joined a team that was already together and he was just a "sub". He didn't even know why we was having to go. Anyway, he had decided to drop soccer until his friend called to say they were joining a coed rec team. Liam was interested and signed up.

What a difference experience! This coach is so encouraging, the team members are encouraging. There are 17 year old boys on the team that have been in AAA leagues and are refs and incredible players there with girls that have no idea what they are doing. They help each other and nobody kills you if you miss a shot. It's actually FUN!

I had a conversation with a couple of friends about soccer. They were talking about their kids on competition teams and how they were screaming at the other team players and playing to the death. I told them about the league Liam is on and they were almost irritated at the idea. Why on earth would you play for fun and not to WIN? They almost seemed offended that score isn't recorded and placement isn't taken, like it's a waste of time.

So, I started to think about what I am teaching my kids with sports. Do I need to teach them to be more competitive? I realize there are times in life that it helps to have that attitude - selling yourself in an interview, getting ahead in school. But, learning to be sportsman like and having fun is good too. Do we really need to push them so hard in everything? Do we push them to do something to the point of making it not fun anymore? Do we encourage them to step on (or throw to the ground, literally) others to get ahead? Hmmm.....

For us, I think I like our new league. I like being nice. I like having fun. I like being able to have Liam play a lot and feel good about his contribution. I like building confidence without needing to crush others. I don't know. I guess it's just a sport. It's not life. But, to some screaming parents on the sidelines, you would think it's all that matters in the world.

Here is his fun little team.

Yep, they even let Liam try out being goalie (he's there with the yellow goalie shirt). Let's just say that the bigger and taller the player is, the better chance they have of covering that big goal. At least nobody got on him for missing a block.